After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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