Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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