My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
