There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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