i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
