what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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