It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
