dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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