Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize