listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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