she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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