summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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