She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
