I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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