im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
