Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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