I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
