Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
