i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
