I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
