Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
