i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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