It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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