we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Plan B is the new Plan A
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
