Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
