he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
