There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
