so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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