It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool"Â excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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