I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
