I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's always time for handjobs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
