Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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