Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
