I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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