I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
