I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
