u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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