STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
