for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
