Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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