Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
