you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize