Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
