Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
