Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
