im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i've created a new STD.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize