He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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