it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize