im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
