I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
