Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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