when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
