Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
