i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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