that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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