Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
