Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
