Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
