Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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