It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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