why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
