The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
