his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
